Written by Stephanie Lezama
As the daughter of an immigrant family, I embarked on a unique journey with its own set of challenges and triumphs, deeply rooted in my Mexican heritage and the pursuit of my own identity. My story is a tapestry of experiences that illustrate the struggles and joys of being a first-generation Mexican American.
Growing up in a traditional Mexican household, I encountered the weight of generational expectations. The dreams and sacrifices of my ancestors cast a long shadow over my life. I felt a deep sense of responsibility and guilt, knowing that my family’s aspirations and sacrifices were entrusted to me, their eldest daughter. The pressure to honor their dreams and create a future they could be proud of was a constant presence in my life.
One aspect of my journey that was intertwined with my cultural identity was the challenge of mental health. My family, like many immigrant families, had a limited understanding of mental health issues and struggled to accept them. Navigating the mental health system while balancing cultural expectations was a complex endeavor. Seeking therapy and psychiatric help became a crucial part of my journey as I grappled with the immobilizing impact of my mental health challenges.
In the heart of a Mexican household, I found myself trying to strike a balance between honoring my cultural roots and forging my own path. The weight of generational expectations was ever-present, and it sometimes felt like a delicate dance of tradition and self-discovery.
The echoes of family members referring to me as “gordita” reverberated through my formative years. This label, though meant without malice, carried judgment and shaped my self-perception. My weight, my appearance, and the commentary that accompanied them were normalized, as they often are in close-knit immigrant families.
My journey of self-discovery included reframing my self-image. I began to tell myself daily affirmations that affirmed my worth and self-acceptance. “You are worthy. You are enough. Your feelings are valid. Your desires and needs matter.” These words became my anchor in the face of judgments and expectations.
Opening up to friends and peers who understood the unique struggles of being a first-generation Mexican-American was a revelation. These conversations provided comfort, shared wisdom, and a sense of belonging, helping me navigate the complexities of my cultural identity.
One of the most empowering aspects of my journey was having candid conversations with my loved ones. I learned to stand up for myself and assert my boundaries when confronted with negative behavior. I began to demand the respect and understanding that I deserved.
My story is a testament to resilience, growth, and the journey toward embracing my cultural heritage and personal identity. It’s about shedding the burdens of generational expectations, silencing the judgments, and discovering the inherent worth that had always existed within me. Through self-love and self-care, I have come to unapologetically embrace my cultural heritage while fostering an environment where my own wants, needs, and well-being take center stage. My journey as a first-generation Mexican American is a story of empowerment, celebrating the past while shaping a future that reflects the true me.
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