Written by Chisato Hotta, DSW, LPCC, LMFT
Throughout my life, I have had a few friendships that saved my life, without exaggeration. One of them was my friend, H. H was a guy friend of mine, who truly accepted me and loved me for who I was. When I was in my early 20s and was having panic attacks, he would be on the phone with me, coaching me to breathe and ground myself. He would listen to me for hours on end when I was feeling scared or sad. He would talk to me through empathy and at times, would remind of to come back to the moment- to reality.
Looking back, I probably would not have made it through that dark time of my life without H. He was my rock. He made me laugh, allowed me to cry, and never judged me for who I was.
When I think of trauma-informed approaches, I think of H. Approaching situations and people through empathy and a curiosity to know their story can be so hard. As a therapist, before I learned about the phrase “trauma-informed care”, I would think to myself, “What would H do in this situation? How would he respond?” Then, I would take a deep breath and try to do that.
When I speak with people about trauma-informed care, many times, I get the response, “But Chisato, I’m not a therapist. I’m not trained to be like that.” I always internally chuckle when I hear that. Because the most trauma-informed people that I know, like H, are not in the mental health field, at all. The root of being trauma-informed is to care for the person in front of you as a person instead of jumping to conclusions and judgment. Listen to their story without assumption. Be like H. That could save someone’s life. Just like it did me.
For more information on trauma and trauma informed care, please visit our resources on our website.